I feel like a shibukombe or the alangizi
right as I try to convince myself that I believe the beautiful art of kissing is neglected by many
especially the married.
Think back to the days when you and the love
of your life (or of the moment) kissed; before you actually had sex – either for
the first time ever or the first time for the two of you. Remember how exciting
and passionate and raw it was? And how it could go on for hours?
Now compare that to your last kiss today or
whenever the last was. Is the passion still there?
Although family members may sometimes kiss
on the lips, a French Kiss almost always indicates a romantic relationship. A
French kiss – a passionate romantic or sexual kiss in which one participant's
tongue touches the other's tongue and usually enters his/her mouth – is often
used by lovers to express their intimate feelings toward each other, whether in
passing or as a prelude to sexual intercourse (as a part of foreplay) or during
the frequent occurrences throughout actual intercourse. French kissing – also called tongue kiss,
pash, hooking up, mugging it up, making-out, necking, getting into, snog,
slipping the tongue, popping tongue, sucking face, or deep kissing, getting off
– stimulates the lips, tongue and mouth, which are all areas very sensitive to
touch. It is considered by many to be both very pleasurable and highly
intimate. Unlike other forms of "casual" kissing (such as brief
kisses of greeting or friendship), episodes of French kissing – which in
essence can also be called a passionate or loving kiss – are highly intimate
affairs which will often be prolonged, intense, and passionate and, in a manner
of speaking, symbolize a side of the physical love one has for the other. Because of the intimacy associated with it, in
many regions of the world tongue kissing in public is not acceptable to most,
particularly for an extended time.
As a youngster, there were times when you
were only offered the kiss and nothing more. Surely the kiss in that moment,
with all the libido of a teen or young twenty-something guy, was heaven on
earth. The imagination that accompanied the kissing meant you were engulfed in
the aura of moment, with butterflies in the stomach and your mind floating in
cloud nine. Seeing you were not getting “none of some”, you had to make do with
second best and in fact second base. I am not sure a married man will make do
with a kiss instead of the main course. So many married men even skip the kiss
and just go to the sex.
Fast forward many years later and one
simple fact about kissing is that after a few encounters, usually when people
get married and after years of staying together, this activity tends to just wear away or you
don't work hard at it such that it becomes more of a ritual and even a chore
than an art. It gets taken advantage of.
I think the art of kissing would wear out
if it is not always part of the art of making love. The problem is that sometimes
it has been used, mostly by us men, to 'unlock' a woman to access her cherry,
and once its 'open sesame', the kissing is abandoned. Thing is, if it is used
to wear down the womans 'Walls of Jericho', when it comes to marriage or
long-term relationships, the resistance is not there and that use of the kiss
is irrelevant and so it goes. For those who do not focus on the woman's loins
alone when making love (or simply having sex for that matter) i.e. know that
groping, fingering and kissing spice up making love. They therefore know that
the art of kissing can never die because of changes and should not die.
To save the dying art of kissing, for the
married like I, the secret is always peck her when you wake up, say bye, meet
again etc. Then the actual kissing (snogs, puckers and the works) becomes
sweeter when you are playing La Liga at night as it is not a chore! Some
sweets, chocolates and the like just make it naughty but less repulsive if
there is bad taste or odour in the mouth. Oral health helps too.
I end with
some tips on basic French Kissing which one needs to get right before going on
to experimenting and trying different styles and more advanced techniques.
1. Brush your
teeth, get a good bath, nicely groomed and clean and fresh, before meeting the
other person. There's nothing worse than kissing the rear end of a garbage
truck.
2. Get into a
comfortable position - you can't kiss if your back feels like it's gonna break.
Suggestion - Sit side by side on a comfy sofa.
3. Hold your
lover, firmly but gently - don't cause pain. Suggestion would be to hold the
shoulders, the neck or gently on the side of the face, one side or both sides.
4. Move your
faces closer. Don't bump noses. Suggestion would be the guy angle his face
slightly so you don't bump noses.
5. Kiss
gently, normal closed lips kissing, and close your eyes. Closing your eyes
increases the sensations you feel, and also sets the mood.
6. Continue
kissing gently. Get comfortable with simple closed lips, lip-to-lip kissing
before going anywhere else.
7. If fine
till here, tentatively, slowly and lightly draw your tongue across the other
person's lips.
8. Chances are
from here, if the other person lightly parts her lips, slowly explore the other
person's tongue in a light licking motion.
9. The tongue
has a very sensitive surface, which is why tongue to tongue is the essence of French
kissing.
10. After
you've tried lightly licking the other person's tongue, you can try sucking on
it, wrestling with it ( see if you can hold it to the floor of her mouth ) and
other things like that.
11. Explore
the other areas of the mouth. Especially the roof of the mouth. Lightly lick,
or tickle the area with your tongue.
12. Don't
bite. Whatever you do, don't bite.
13. Don't
swing your tongue round and round like a windmill. Explore lightly, don't drill
your way through.
14. Breathe
through your nose. Breathe through your nose. I say again, breathe through your
nose.
15. Follow so
far? You can lightly use your hands too, lightly rubbing the other person.
Suggestions, along the waist, along the back, the arms, especially the inside
of the arm, the neck, maybe running your fingers through her hair. Again, don't
cause pain.
16. Continue
kissing.
Viva the art
of kissing.
No comments:
Post a Comment